paddleball

the kid: what's that?
me: a paddle ball
the kid: what does it do?
me: it's a ball tied to a paddle, and you whack it.
the kid: that's so not good!

sneaky mommy

the kid woke up congested and had a headache but didn't want to take medicine... so I put some in his juice without him knowing. about 30 minutes later...
the kid: mommy, did you put medicine in my red juice?
me: why do you ask?
the kid: 'cause my head feels better. so I know you put some medicine in there.
me: yes, I did. I sneaked it in there because I knew it would make you feel better.
the kid: thank you for being sneaky, mommy. 

Santa knows...

after checking out all his gifts from Santa...
the kid: mommy, he got me all the stuff I wanted. even some things I didn't say I wanted, but he still knew. 
me: yeah, he's awesome like that.
the kid: I need to write him a note to say thank you.

Merry Christmas!

woke up at 8:30 with the kid patting me gently on the cheek, so I opened one eye...
the kid: Merry Christmas! (kisses my cheek)
me: Merry Christmas! 
the kid (whispering): let's go see what Santa brought.
me: yeah! let's go!

gratefulness

we allowed the kid to open ONE gift tonight, and he just happened to choose a game that we can play as a family. after a few exciting rounds of "Zingo!", he gave both of us a hug and said, "thank you for my game. it was a very nice thing to get for me, and I love it."

I do believe this is the year of gratefulness, and I LOVE it!!!

so amazed!

"I can't wait for daddy to see my present. he'll be so amazed. he might pee in his pants."

thank you note

took the kid to see Santa, and he got a little gift. after opening it at home...
the kid: that was nice of Santa. I need to write him a thank you note.
me: you can put it with the diet coke and cookies we'll leave out for him when he comes to bring presents.
the kid: that's a great idea! thank you, mommy.
I just love this kid!!!

thank You, Jesus!

the hubby and the kid are playing one of their favorite video games and I just heard the kid exclaim, "thank You, Jesus!" makes this mommy proud. 

I miss Pa.

the kid: I miss Pa. I never get to see him any more.
me: do you want me to call and see if we can go visit him?
the kid: YAY! I'll get the phone for you, mommy.
... and so we just got back from a great visit with my sweet daddy... didn't even mind having to drive home in the rain. *happy sigh*

I'm thinking...

the kid: are you thinking what I'm thinking?
me: I don't know. what are you thinking?
the kid: I can't tell you. it's a secret, so you have to guess.
me: ummmm, I'm thinking that you're thinking I'm cute.
the kid: well, you ARE cute, but that's not the answer.

the best

in the car, on the way home from school...
the kid: thank you for coming to help with my class party, mommy. 
me: you're welcome. I love helping your class.
the kid: and I love when you help with my class. and D said I have the best mommy, and she's right.
me: awwww, thanks. and I have the best kid.
the kid: awwwww, thanks, mommy! I'm gonna give you the biggest hug ever when we get home.

turtle WHAT?

the kid: ♪ the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... two turtle ducks.
me: you mean two turtle doves.
the kid: turtle doves?! that doesn't make sense! trust me. it's turtle DUCKS. (giggles) turtle doves. that's ridiculous!

days of Christmas

the kid: mommy, how many days of Christmas are there?
me: um, there are 11 more days 'til Christmas.
the kid: how many days OF Christmas, not how many days 'TIL Christmas. there are 12 days of Christmas.
me: oh. well, if you knew that, why did you ask me?
the kid: I was just seeing if you know that. but you didn't. but now you do because I told you. so I'm glad I asked. aren't you glad I asked?
me: *sigh* yes, thanks for asking.
the kid: you're welcome.

good sleep

me: did you have a good sleep?
the kid: I don't know, did you? 'cause I did if you did.
me: yes, I had a really good sleep.
the kid: yeah. me, too. (sleepy grin) I like it when we both have a good sleep.

how to get on the "good" list

the kid: can you do that for me, daddy? please?
the hubby: but I don't want to.
the kid: you can get on the good list if you do it.
the hubby: okay. (starts moving slowly)
the kid: but if you do it slowly, you won't. you might wanna hurry it up there, daddy.
where'd he learn this stuff? ;)

click

getting into the car...
me: you'd better hurry. k's gonna beat you.
the kid: hey, k. wait. I have to tell you something. and you won't hear it if you click. so don't click.
(click)
the kid: you clicked!
k: so what do you need to tell me?
the kid: it's too late. you clicked. 

keeper of the list

Uncle C: well, I need to go bye-bye.
the kid: NO!
me: Uncle C needs to drive Aunt D and K home. if he doesn't, he might end up on the naughty list.
the kid: he's already on the naughty list. 
*and so they stayed just a little bit longer*

naughty or nice

the kid: mommy, do you want to get off the good list? 'cause picking on someone can put you right on the naughty list, you know.
me: oh, I'm sorry. I'll try to be good.
the kid: okay. I'm sure Santa will give you another chance, but you better watch out.

back to school

the kid: I get to go back to school today!
me: yep. are you excited?
the kid: yes. I think my friends missed me.
me: I'm sure they did.

good morning!

I woke up to the kid climbing on me to kiss my cheek and say "time to wake up, cute mommy". now THAT's a great way to start the day!

wake up call

me: mornin' sunshine. time to get up.
the kid: I'm still sleeping. zzzzzz.
me: don't you want to have time to play the wii before school?
the kid: no, I'm too tired.
me: oh. well, I guess I'll see if daddy's still in bed.
the kid: (sits straight up) NO! I'll do it. that's MY job.
(jumps off the bed, runs into our bedroom...)
the kid: GET OUTTA THIS BED, MISTER! 

reading...

reading with the kid last night... watching him sound out words and seeing the pure joy on his face when he realized he can read more words than he thought possible... now THAT's priceless!

what's in a name?

the hubby: do you want a cheese sandwich?
the kid: I don't like cheese sandwiches. I want a grilled cheese that isn't cooked.
(hubby looks at me, confused)
me: piece of bread, folded in half, cheese in the middle.
the kid: yeah, but don't cook it.
the hubby: (sigh) got it. one grilled cheese that isn't cooked coming right up.
the kid: thank you, daddy.

what families do

the kid: thank you for taking care of me when I was sick.
me: you're welcome. that's what I do.
the kid: because you love me, right?
me: yep. and daddy loves you, too.
the kid: I know that. you both always love me. and I love you, too. 'cause that's what families do, right?
me: right. 
*happy sigh*

quiet time

the kid: mommy, please don't talk while I'm playing this game because it makes me nervous. 
me: okay, I'll be quiet.
the kid: well, you can whisper if you want to.
me: okay, thank you (snicker).
the kid: you're welcome. 

a great student

the kid's teacher commended him for being smart, polite, and eager to learn. she says overall he's a great student and such a joy to have in her class. yeah, I'm a proud momma! ♥

homework

so proud of the kid. he did a little extra homework tonight so he can have a "no homework" day tomorrow. he is getting the hang of "do it now so you don't have to worry about it later." ♥

now THAT's forgiveness!

while having lunch with the kid at school...
the kid: that's Angelita. she tried to choke me, and she got in big trouble.
me: really? did she do it to be mean?
the kid: I think so, but she said she was just playing. but she got in big trouble and I'm not hurt, so I'm not mad about it.
(yes, I already knew about the incident... his awesome teacher handled it beautifully!)

that's mean

the hubby: well, Matthew Ryan...
the kid: daddy, don't say Matthew Ryan 'cause I think that's not nice.

I like baseball

playing his Mario Super Sluggers game on the wii...
the kid: I picked this game out and I really like this game 'cause I like baseball. I really really like baseball. do you like baseball, mommy? I like baseball. 'cause it's fun.

popcorn for breakfast

the kid: mommy, my tummy is hungry for popcorn.
me: for breakfast?
the kid: yeah. we need popcorn seeds and heat. and when the popcorn seeds get hot, they make popcorn.
me: sure, why not?
the kid: yay! I just love hearing it pop!

snuggle it away

the kid: mommy, I need some snuggles.
me: awwwww, come here. (snuggles) did you have a bad dream?
the kid: yeah.
me: was it scary or sad?
the kid: scary. (snuggles deeper)
me: do you want to talk about it?
the kid: no. it would be too scary for you. let's just snuggle it away.
me: that's a great idea.
the kid: (sigh) yeah. thanks, mommy. I love you.
me: you're welcome. I love you too.

bad guys

the kid: daddy, I bet you're glad you're not a bad guy.

the hubby: um, yeah.

the kid: 'cause if you were a bad guy, mommy would hit you with a bat.

the hubby: then I'm really glad I'm not a bad guy.
the kid: I know. I already told you that.

no habla espanol

the kid LOVES library day at school (Fridays)... today he came home with a "Bob the Builder" book and couldn't wait me to read it to him. what he didn't realize is that it is the spanish version. um, yeah. we read it anyway...
the kid: what does that mean?
me: I don't know, but it sounds really cool!
the kid: yeah, read some more!

bedtime

at bedtime last night...
me: bedtime. let's go.
the kid: I don't want to go to bed yet.
me: okay. but if you don't go to bed now, you'll be really tired in the morning, and you might not wake up on time and then you'll be late for school.
the kid (running to his room): c'mon, mommy! what are you waiting for?

yellow snow

showing his daddy some pictures he had just drawn...

the kid: and see all the snow?

the hubby: "is that yellow snow?!

the kid: yes. so you can see it. if I used a white crayon on white paper, you wouldn't be able to see it. so I used yellow.

me: makes sense to me.

the hubby: just remember to never eat yellow snow.

the kid: snow's not yellow, daddy. and we don't eat snow. mommy, daddy's silly, isn't he?

sharing is good... sometimes

the kid: mommy, we need to make another peanut butter pie.
me: okay, we can do that.
the kid: but this time, we can't share it with other people.
me: but sharing is good.
the kid: yeah, but sometimes it's not. and today is a no sharing the peanut butter pie day.
me: well, then I guess we'll have to keep it for ourselves.
the kid: that's a great idea.

about bullies...

the kid was telling me about someone who was picking on him at school...

the kid: mommy, why does he do that?

me: not every mommy and daddy teach their kids how to be nice and to use their manners.

the kid: I feel sad for them. people won't like them when they're mean and rude.

beware of dog

the kid: what does that sign mean, mommy?

me: it means "bad guys beware. we have a dog that will chomp you."

the kid: that's awesome. we need to get that dog some time.

the winner

tonight at bedtime...
the kid: mommy, thank you for taking me to school on time today.
me: you're welcome.
the kid: I was the winner.
me: is it a contest?
the kid: no.
me: how can you be the winner if it's not a contest?
the kid: because I was there first, silly.
me: good night, silly boy. I love you.
the kid: good night, silly girl. I love you, too.

if you're not early...

last night at bedtime...
the kid: mommy, I was late to school today. I don't like being late.
me: you weren't late. you weren't as early as you usually are, but you still had plenty of time to get to class.
the kid: yeah, but I was the last one in my class, so that means I was late.
me: did your teacher say you were late?
the kid: no.
me: did you have to go to the office?
the kid: no.
me: then you weren't late.
the kid: but I don't like being the last one to get there. 'cause that means I'm late. and I don't like being late. got it?
me: (sigh) got it. I'm really proud of you for not wanting to be late. I'll do my best to make sure you always get to school on time.
the kid: EARLY.
me: early. got it.
the kid: thank you. I love you. good night.

daddy does homework

the kid: I like mommy better and daddy not so much. for homework.
me: then you need to let daddy help you more. 'cause you know the more he practices, the better he'll get.
the kid: okay. but I won't like it.

computer lab

the kid: mommy, you know what we need?
me: what do we need?
the kid: we need a computer lab. like at school.
me: oh, I don't know about that.
the kid: yeah, mommy. but we don't need a lot of computers. just one for me. and then you won't have to share yours with me.
me: we'll see what we can do.
the kid: yay! hey, daddy. guess what. we're getting a computer lab!
me: I didn't say yes.
the kid: oh. but you want to. right, mommy? please say yes. (bats eyelashes) I love you?
*sigh*

God always...

the kid: mommy, God always hears us, doesn't He?

me: yes, He does.

the kid: yeah, 'cause He's always with us.

me: yes, He is.

the kid: and he watches over us and protects us. 'cause He loves us. He always loves us, doesn't He?

me: yes, He does.

the kid: yeah. that's awesome.

on the list

fisher price catalog = the kid saying "I want that" repeatedly as he turns the pages. I've gotta get off that mailing list.

whose homework?

me: time to do your homework.

the kid: can you do it for me?
and so it begins...

homework pencil

the kid: what's that?
me: this is a homework pencil. do you want to use it to write your name?
the kid: do I ever!
... and so the homework "game" begins.

the talk

the kid: mommy, we need to talk. but it's not a big talk. a big talk means you're in trouble. but you're not in trouble. 

me: okay. what do we need to talk about?
the kid: you need to practice the batman game. 'cause you can't just not play batman. that'd be crazy!
me: oh. well, then. I guess I'll start practicing.
the kid: really? that's awesome, mommy! I'm so proud of you. (big sappy grin)

sharing the last cookie

after eating his dinner...

the kid: mommy, can I have something else to eat? 

me: do you want the last cookie?

the kid: I want all of us to have a cookie, so we can share it.

yeah, I love this kid!

making new friends

on the way home from school...

the kid: David is gonna come over to my house some day and he can spend the night at my house.
me: oh, really? who's David?
the kid: he's in my class.
me: um, well. daddy and I will have to meet his parents and get to know them a little bit before we'd even consider it.
the kid: do you have their phone number? 'cause you have to have their phone number to call them, you know.
me: I don't have their phone number, but I'll see what I can do.
the kid: thanks, mommy. you're awesome.

mr. responsible

as I dropped the kid off at school this morning, it was such a blessing to be told "he's so responsible. he made a little spill at lunch yesterday and picked it all up himself without having to be asked" by a teacher I haven't met before. I can't help but be proud that he's earning a good reputation.

really really?

the kid: mommy, do I have to go to school today?
me: yes. are you excited?
the kid: but I don't want to.
me: why not?
the kid: because I'm really really tired.
me: oh. I guess you need an earlier bedtime.
the kid: oh... um... I mean 'cause I'm I really really sick.
me: well, I guess you can lay on the couch all day. and do nothing.
the kid: but I want to play with daddy.
me: no playing if you're sick. but if you go to school, you and daddy can play when you get home.
the kid: (takes a sip of his juice) I'm all better, mommy. I just needed some juice. let's go.

kidding

the hubby: tell her you're kidding.
the kid: I don't have a kid!
the hubby: (snickering) I mean tell her you're joking.
the kid: daddy! stop it. mommy, daddy's bothering me!

with great power...

"you know, mommy. with great power comes great responsibility. "
... perhaps he's been watching too much spiderman.

work something out

the kid: you know what happens when I stay up too late?
me: you get tired and cranky the next day.
the kid: yeah. I get fussy and cry a lot.
me: so what do you think we should do about that?
the kid: well, you made me do it.
me: so it's my fault because I let you stay up a little later last night?
the kid: yep. but I forgive you.

me: thank you. so no more staying up late?
the kid: no. I mean yes. I mean... I'm sure we can work something out.

do your best

the kid: mommy, can you buy some colors I can use to draw on the bathtub when I take a bath?
me: I'll put them on your list.
the kid: but mommy, that's not a list thing. it's a bath thing. pleeeeeease?
me: we'll see.
the kid: I know you can do it, mommy. just do your best.
me: thank you, my little encourager.

picnic in the kitchen

just finished having a picnic dinner in the kitchen and hearing all about the kid's day at kindergarten. he is most impressed that there is a picture of Perry the Platypus in the principal's office (no, he didn't get in trouble... his class was on a tour). this was after a 10-minute demonstration of the proper way to stand/walk in line, including several "don't" scenarios. yes, kindergarten is proving to be a family learning experience.

who's your mommy?

what an awesome feeling to be recognized as "Matthew's mom" at his school... and to be told what a great kid he is. makes a momma proud!

God is everywhere

the kid: mommy, God is always with us, isn't He?
me: yes, He is.
the kid: 'cause He's everywhere, right mommy?
me: yep. that's right.
the kid: and He watches over us because He loves us.
me: yes, He does.
the kid: yeah. isn't that cool?

owies and heaven

sometimes the kid is very grown up...

the kid: mommy, did your mommy die?

me: yes, honey. she did. a long time ago.

the kid: well, when was it?

me: it was in 1997. almost 14 years ago.

the kid: can you tell me how it happened?

me: yes. she was in a car accident and got some really bad owies.

the kid: oh. what made her die?

me: she had a really bad owie on her head, and the doctors couldn't make it better.

the kid: oh. that's sad.

me: yes. I miss her very much.

the kid: but we shouldn't be sad, mommy. 'cause Jesus came and took her to heaven. and that's cool.

me: yes. yes, it is.

the kid: I love you, mommy.

me: I love you, too. very VERY much.

*snuggles*

momma's boy

me: you get to stay home and play with daddy while I go to the grocery store.

the kid: can I go, too? I really want to go.

me: um, no. but thanks for asking.

the kid: but I love you and I always want to be with you.

me: then ask daddy if he will go by himself and we can stay home.

the kid: okay. bye, daddy.

level 2

the kid is adjusting well to the structure of kindergarten. apparently, they measure voice volume in "levels"... level 2 is "conversational tone". level 3 is "classroom tone".

last night at dinner...

the kid: mommy, we're supposed to be at level 2. you are at level 3.

me: (lowering my volume to match his) oh, you're right. I'm sorry.

the kid: that's okay. just make sure you stay at level 2. that was your warning.

lunch for breakfast?

8am...
the kid: mommy, can we make some cookies?
me: we'll make them after lunch.
the kid: can we have lunch now?

family again

me: did you have a good day today?
the kid: yes, and I had a good time, too.
me: that's great. I'm glad you had a good time.
the kid: but I missed you because I wasn't with you.
me: I missed you, too.
the kid: but now I'm back and we're a family again.

that's ridiculous!

the kid: mommy, can we go to the game store and buy a new game?
me: maybe we can go Saturday, but you will have to spend your own money if you want to buy a new game.
the kid: but I want to go today!
me: we can look on the computer and see if we can find the game you want. it will take a few days to get it in the mail, but we won't have to go to the store. and you still have to spend your own money for it.
the kid: you can send money in the computer?
me: yep.
the kid: wow! that's ridiculous!

let me choose

last night at bedtime...

the kid: mommy, you didn't let me choose this morning, and you said I could choose.

me: choose what?

the kid: when you take me to school. you said I could choose a kiss, a hug, or a high five, and you didn't let me choose. you just said high five.

me: oh, you're right. I'm sorry.

the kid: I forgive you, mommy. just don't do it again.

glad I remembered to let him choose this morning... I got a hug, kiss, and a double-high-five.

don't look back

day 3 of kindergarten... I walked the kid halfway down the hall and said, "this is where I give you a high-five and watch you walk the rest of the way." with a big grin on his face, he gave me a high-five, turned, and walked the rest of the way without looking back. so proud my baby boy is growing up...

the kid said kindergarten was fun, but he didn't get to play long enough and one boy was not nice to him.
me: what did he do that wasn't nice?
the kid: I don't know.
me: then how do you know he wasn't nice?
the kid: he said something rude. and I don't listen when someone is rude. so I don't remember what he said.
me: I'm very proud of you.
the kid: yeah. me, too.

um, can you go now?

the kid's first day of kindergarten...

the kid: bye, mommy.

me: bye, sweetie. you have a good day, okay?

the kid: okay. bye, mommy.

me: I'll see you later. when I pick you up. 

the kid: okay. bye, mommy.

me: and -

the kid: mommy, can you just go already? I'll be okay.

me: of course, silly me. bye. see ya later.

the kid: bye, mommy. I love you.

(yes, I cried. a little.)

what's that smell?

the kid: it's still my birthday, right?
me: no. not really.

the kid: but I want it to still be my birthday.

me: (singing) ♪happy birthday to you. happy birthday to you. you look like a cute boy, and you smell like one, too.♪

the kid: what did you say I smell like?

me: a cute boy.

the kid: I'm a cute boy, but I don't smell like anything.

me: you don't smell like anything?
the kid: no. but my butt smells like poop. (giggle)

we need to talk

the kid: (very serious!) mommy, I need to talk to you.
me: okay. what do we need to talk about?
the kid: well, I need you to be really quiet while I'm playing my WALL-E Wii game. do you think you can do that for me?
me: um, yeah. I'm pretty sure I can.
the kid: thanks, mommy. I know you can do it. and I'll help you to remember, okay?
me: um, yeah. thanks.
the kid: you're welcome, mommy. I love you.

what's a leg?

the kid: what's a leg?
me: what? you know what a leg is.
the kid: no, I'm not kidding.
me: you're not?
the kid: no. I'm really not. I really forgot. (pause) HA! I'm tricking you. this is my leg. (patting his leg)
me: you rascal!
the kid: I'm funny, aren't I?

say your manners, please.

the hubby burped and didn't say "excuse me"...

the kid: daddy, say your manners, please.

the hubby: what?

the kid: daddy, you burped and you didn't say "excuse me". that's rude. you need to say your manners. mommy! daddy burped and didn't say his manners.

the hubby: oh, sorry.

the kid: daddy! you still didn't say your manners. say "excuse me".

the hubby: oh, sorry. excuse me.

the kid: that's better. thank you for saying your manners.

stars sparkle

while helping to make the cupcakes for his party...
the kid: I'll do the sparkles.
me: you mean sprinkles.
the kid: they're stars, mommy. stars sparkle. so they're sparkles.
me: oh, sorry.
the kid: that's okay, mommy. you didn't know. but now you do.

still my birthday

the first thing the kid said this morning was "hey, mommy! today's my birthday party."
me: yes, it is.
the kid: so it's still my birthday, right?
me: yes, I guess you could say that.
the kid: I did say that.

happy birthday

the kid: mommy, today is my birthday! (said with absolute glee)

me: yes, it is. you're five now.

the kid: I'm not five yet.

me: you're not? but it's your birthday.

the kid: I know that. but I won't be five until my people come over.

me: you mean for your birthday party?

the kid: yep. I have to blow out the candle with the 5 on it.

singing praises

love hearing the kid sing one of the songs he learned at VBS... 

♪ God is watching, watching over you. 24/7, watching over you. your life is in his hands, woa woah. He's got great big plans 'cause he's watching over you. ♪

it's your choice

the kid: mommy, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
me: I don't know. what are you thinking?
the kid: I'm thinking we could snuggle up in your bed and watch Netflix together.
me: that's a great idea. what should we watch?
the kid: your choice is Spectacular Spiderman or Spiderman 67 Collection.
me: it's up to you. which one do you want to watch?
the kid: no mommy, it's your choice.
me: okay, Spectacular Spiderman.
the kid: wrong choice, mommy. you want to watch the 67 collection. right, mommy? (nodding)
me: of course. I'm glad it was my choice.
the kid: yeah. me, too.

hot vs hob

the kid and the hubby were talking about Spiderman and some of his foes...
the kid: and there's green goblin and hot goblin.
the hubby: you mean hobgoblin.
the kid: say it with me. hot
the hubby: hot
the kid: gob
the hubby: gob
the kid: lin
the hubby: lin
the kid: hot goblin
the hubby: hot goblin.
the kid: good. now you know.

not me!

after hearing the kid pass gas...

me: did you toot?

the kid: no. it must have been daddy.

me: daddy's not even here.

the kid: he did it from work. he must have turned my tooter on. sometimes he does that, you know.

me: yeah, riiiiight. and how did he do that?

the kid: with a toot-inator.

I'm pretty sure this means he's been watching too much  "Phineas and Ferb."

all about love

the kid: mommy, I love you.

me: I love you, too.

the kid: and I love you forever.

me: and I love you forever.

the kid: and I love you more than chicken and fries.

me: wow! that's a lotta love.

the kid: yeah. a lotta lotta love.

I think I'll keep him.

God made me fast.

the kid: mommy, can you get me a cheese stick and some red juice? please?
me: how 'bout you get the cheese stick and I get the red juice?
the kid: I bet I can get the cheese stick before you get the -
me: I bet you can't. (as we both run into the kitchen)
the kid: HA! I win!
me: you always win.
the kid: yeah. 'cause God made me fast. and he made you slow. I'm fast and you're slow. got it?

I want that...

the kid: I want that.
me: it's on the list.
the kid: and I want that.
me: on the list.
the kid: oooo, I want that, too.
me: you want everything, don't you?
the kid: no. not everything.
me: just everything you see?
the kid: no. I just want everything that looks cool.

dear God...

tonight was the kid's turn to say the prayer at dinner...

"dear God, thank you for this day. thank you for our food. and please give us some rain. and please make it not be a hundred hot outside. in Jesus' name. amen."

the bad guy

mommy, the devil is the bad guy 'cause he tries to keep us from God and tries to get us to do bad things. but we can ask God to help us 'cause he can always defeat the devil.

who's to blame?

me: you sure like getting into my stuff, don't you?
the kid: how'd you know it was me?
me: I'm sitting here watching you.
the kid: oh. I guess I can't blame it on daddy then, huh?
me: no, I'm pretty sure you can't.
the kid: um, I love you?

the list

the kid: mommy, can we please print my list now?
me: sure. you've waited long enough. let's go.
the kid: yay! (after pulling it off the printer) and now can you tell everyone it's ready?
me: yeah, I'll get right on that.
the kid: good. 'cause I know people want to get me stuff I like.

gimme a break

me (to hubby): Kym broke her foot.

the kid: what?! Miss Kym's foot is broked?

me: yes, her foot is broken.
the kid: is it cut in half?
me: no. it's broken on the inside. one of her bones has a crack in it.

the kid: so it went (makes cracking noise)?

me: yep.
the kid: wow. that gotted ta hurt!

who? me??

the kid: mommy, can you get me some red juice, please?

me: there's some on the table?

the kid: where? 

me: your cup is next to your plate. the one you snagged the cheese stick from.

the kid: you didn't see me.

me: I didn't have to see you. it's gone, and your breath smells like cheese.

the kid: well, I didn't snag it. I just ate it with my mouth.

what nap?

the kid: mommy, can I have a later bedtime today?
me: um, no. but thanks for asking.
the kid: but I took a nap!
me: you did not take a nap today.
the kid: yes, I did.
me: oh really? when?
the kid: right before I waked up this morning.
me: nice try, but that doesn't count as a nap. that's the end of last night's sleep.
the kid: oh. um. I love you?

what's in a name?

the kid: mommy, what is the name of that church again?

me: Hillcrest.

the kid: yeah, I want to go to Hillcrest today.

me: that sounds like a great idea.

later...

me: I better get moving. we have to leave in a little bit to go to church.

the kid: yeah! we're going to Hillcrumbs!

hold me!

the kid: mommy, do you need someone to hold you?

me: do you mean do I want someone to hold?

the kid: no. do you want ME to hold YOU?

me: but if you hold me, I would squish you.

the kid: well, you hold me, and then I hold you while you're holding me. so we're holding each other. 'cause that's what we do.

me: awwww... yes, please hold me.

the kid: I thought you'd never ask.

show me the money

one of these days I will remember to put cash in my purse immediately after taking it out of my pocket...
the kid: look, mommy! I have lots of dollars!
me: those are my dollars that need to go back in my purse.
the kid: we don't need to do that. we can take them to the store and buy another controller for the wii.
me: if we do that, we might not have enough money to buy chicken and fries the next time you want them.
the kid: that's okay. I'm strong enough for no chicken and fries.
me: no chicken and fries? ever?!
the kid: (shocked look) well, maybe we can put these dollars in my piggy bank instead.
me: maybe you can put one of them in your bank and the rest can go back into my purse.
the kid: okay. can I keep this one? (holds up a twenty)
me: (snatching the twenty) no, but you can have this one. (handing him a one)
the kid: I like the other one better.

how long?!

the kid: mommy, I'm big. I'm really really big.
me: yes, you're really really big.
the kid: so I can go to kindergarten.
me: yep.
the kid: so when do I go to kindergarten?
me: after your birthday.
the kid: what?! that's a long time. I don't want to wait a long time! (pout)
me: you have to be 5 to go to kindergarten.
the kid: you didn't tell me that part, mommy. you should have told me that part.

a happy heart

snuggling with the kid at bedtime...
the kid: mommy, will you rub my belly please?
me: sure. close your eyes and lay still.
the kid: thanks, mommy. I love it when you rub my belly. it makes my heart happy.

me: yeah. me, too.
♥

birthday vs Christmas

the kid: mommy, how many days 'til my birthday?
me: how 'bout we go to the calendar and count the days?
the kid: and then can we put up the Christmas tree?
me: the CHRISTMAS tree? you want to put up the Christmas tree for your birthday?
the kid: NO... it's the... what we use to count down 'til Christmas.
me: oh! your advent calendar? we can make a special one just for your birthday.
the kid: can we put Mario on it?
me: yes. we can put whatever you want on it.
the kid: YES! thank you, mommy. you're awesome and I love you.

leave me alone

the kid: mommy, can you leave me alone, please?
me: I'm not bothering you. I'm talking to daddy.
the kid: um, well... but I'm trying to play with daddy and you're wearing me out.
me: ohhh... so are you asking me to leave daddy alone so you can have him all to yourself?
the kid: yep. please? (pause) I love you!

time for me to go crawl in my bed an queue up some Netflix. any bets on how long that will last?

the whining thing...

me: please stop whining. I am not doing the whining thing today.
the kid: I know that. I am doing the whining thing.
me: sounds like someone needs a nap.
the kid: I don't need a nap. I'm not tired.

5 minutes later, he was snoring. almost 4 hours later, he's still asleep. good thing he wasn't tired, huh?

it's under control

the kid is outside "helping" his grandpa change the oil in my car. he has his toy tools with him and has come in twice saying, "I need another tool."
then, just now...
 
the kid: I need another tool. this time I need a saw.
me: wow, it must be getting serious!
the kid: yeah. but don't get nervous. we've got it under control.

another one?

the kid: mommy, can we go shopping to get daddy a present?

me: we just gave him a present

the kid: yeah, but he liked it so much I want to give him another one.

me: how 'bout you make him a card or draw him a picture? I bet he'll like that even more.

the kid: um, okay. I'll draw him a picture card and we can go shopping. then he'll be SO excited!

*sigh*

daddy's surprise

the kid: mommy, let's give daddy his surprise.
me: what surprise?
the kid: you know. (stage whisper) his present.
me: that's for Father's Day. it's not Father's Day yet.
the kid: but he's my daddy today, too. pleeeeeease?!
me: *sigh* okay.
the kid: yay! daddy! close your eyes. we have surprise for you. see, mommy? I knew you wouldn't be able to keep it a secret. 

yeah, I'm weak. but I held back - there's still another gift that the kid doesn't know about. 

scary dreams

me (to the hubby): I had some weird dreams last night.
the kid: did you have scary dreams, mommy?
me: yeah. they were a little scary.
the kid: it's okay, mommy. I'm always with you.

counting dollars

the kid is sorting out paper money...

"this one is one dollar, and this one is five dollars. another one dollar. one dollar. TEN DOLLARS! TEN dollars, mommy! oh, and there's another one dollar, and this one is five dollars. you have a lot of money, mommy. let's go put it in my piggy bank to keep it safe."

why we have bones

mommy, God gave us bones so we can stand up. and walk. if we didn't have bones, we would just fall apart.

what's for breakfast?

the kid: mommy, I'm hungry. can you get me something to eat, please?
me: sure. what do you want?
the kid: fritos.
me: fritos? for breakfast?
the kid: my tummy doesn't know what time it is. it just knows it wants fritos. pleeeeeeeease?

squishy

leaning against me on the couch, the kid started bouncing his head back against my chest...

the kid: mommy, your boobies are squishy.

me: um, yeah.

the kid: soft. (bounce) and. (bounce) squishy. (bounce, giggle)

I wasn't sleeping.

upon waking up after an almost 4-hour nap...

the kid: I wasn't sleeping. I was just pretending.

me: oh? were you tricking me?

the kid: no. I was reading this (pointing to the fisher price catalog).

perhaps he was dreaming of all the things he wants from that catalog.

on the list

the latest fisher price catalog came in the mail today. he is currently looking through it...
the kid: can we get this?
me: we'll put it on your list.
the kid: okay. can we put this on the list, too?
me: sure. it's on the list.
the kid: and this... and this...
me: we'll put the whole book on the list. how 'bout that?
the kid: make sure you take the girl stuff out first. and the baby stuff. got it?

the drive-thru

the hubby and the kid were on the floor playing with his cars. how telling is it that I heard the kid say, "chicken, fries, and a diet coke, please."?

He's allive

mommy, Jesus died on the cross because He loves us, but He's not dead. He's alive at heaven. isn't that awesome?

how not to be scared

after we spent 30 minutes holed up in the bathtub while the tornado warning sirens were going off...
I was a little scared, but then I prayed and asked God to help me not be scared. and then I wasn't scared any more.

rhinoceros

apparently, the hubby let the kid sleep with him while I was out of town...
the kid: mommy, I'm really tired. can we go to bed now?
me: YOU are ASKING to go to bed??? did you and daddy stay up late last night?
the kid: no. but I couldn't sleep 'cause daddy snores like a rhinoceros. it's hard to sleep when someone snores like a rhinoceros.

surprise!

the kid: did you bring me a surprise?
me: I brought you TWO surprises. because I heard you were EXTRA good.
(handed him 2 toy lizards)
the kid: these are my favorite and just what I wanted! hey, daddy. you can have the blue one. hey, mommy. I gave daddy the blue one 'cause he was good, too. so he needed a surprise, too.
me: I was good. do I get a surprise?
the kid: you can't bring yourself a surprise. silly mommy.

behaving

me: were you good for daddy?
the kid: yes, I was very good.
me: did daddy behave?
the kid: yes. I am so proud of him.

umm... zzz

the kid: mommy, can you get me something to eat, please?
me: what would you like?
the kid: umm. umm. uh...
me: think about it and let me know when you decide.

5 minutes later, he's snoring.

surprise for daddy

the kid used a crayon to make an imprint of a leaf on paper for his daddy, and it's hanging on the fridge...

the kid: okay, mommy. so here's the plan for when daddy gets home. we tell him to close his eyes and then he has to follow us so we can show him. (whispers) but it's a surprise, so don't tell him.

me: that's a great idea.

the kid: I know. it's gonna be GREAT!

time to wake up... NOT!

7:15am...
the kid: mommy, wake up. the sun is up.
me: can't we just go back to sleep?
the kid: no, mommy. when the sun is up, it's time to get up.
me: (grumble grumble)
7:30am... the kid is asleep on the couch and I'm wide awake. there's definitely something wrong with this picture!

how many minutes?

the kid: mommy, how many minutes 'til daddy gets home?

me: 2 hours.

the kid: what does that mean?

me: a long time.

the kid: I don't want it to be a long time. can you call him and tell him to make it not a long time?

me: sorry, but it doesn't work that way.

the kid: then daddy needs to fix it. pleeeeeeease!

what, honey?

the kid: mommy?
the hubby: yes?
the kid: I said "mommy".
the hubby: that was mommy.
the kid: no, daddy. mommy says, "what, honey". you say "yes?".
the hubby: oh. my bad.
the kid: mommy?
me: what, honey?
the kid: see, daddy? I told you!

don't break my heart

mommy, my heart needs chicken and fries. because if it doesn't get chicken and fries, my heart will break. please don't break my heart, mommy.

shoo fly!

the kid (whispering): mommy, there's a bug flying in here.
me: what???
the kid (whispering): shhhh! there's. a. bug. flying. in. here. (pointing at a fly)
me: hey fly! get outta my house and stop bugging my kid!
the kid: thanks, mommy. you're awesome.

accidents happen

the kid: sometimes accidents can make people sad, so we have to be careful. right, mommy?
me: yes, you're right.
the kid: so mommy, make sure you pay attention to stuff 'cause you don't want to make people sad. even if it's an accident.

left vs. right

the kid and the hubby were playing, and the kid was giving directions...
"go left, right, left, left, the other left."

yeah, that's my boy!

rest time vs road trip

the kid: mommy, I don't want to do rest time. I'm not tired.
me: okay. how 'bout we go for a drive instead?
the kid: okay. let's go.
 
he went from non-stop chatter to drooling in less than 15 minutes. <insert evil laugh here>

surprise!

it's daddy's surprise day. when he gets here, we'll hide and he won't know we're here. and then we'll jump out and say "surprise!"

cutie patootie

mommy, me and daddy are doofus heads. but you're not a doofus head. you're a cutie patootie. and I love you forever.

just like preschool...

the kid is all registered for kingergarten. we were able to see a few classes moving through the halls in their lines, and the kid whispered to me, "that's like at preschool. except some of them aren't very good at being quiet." 

 so yeah, my baby is all set for "big kid" school. *sigh*

"oh" vs. "zero"

the kid: mommy, time to wake up.
me: what time is it?
the kid: it's seven four five.
me: tell me when it's eight oh oh.
the kid: you mean eight zero zero. oh is a letter. zero is a number.

the bug

the kid: daddy, there's a bug under the table.
the hubby: so go get it.
the kid: no, daddy. you do the yucky stuff.
the hubby: oh, all right. one of these days you'll be a daddy and then you'll have to do the yucky stuff. (looks under the table) that's not a bug. it's blue play-doh.
the kid: oopsy! how'd that get there? I'll get it. just pretend you didn't see anything. and don't tell mommy, okay?

turtle vs kindergarten

the kid: when do I go to the turtle class (at preschool)?
me: the turtle class is for little kids. after this year you get to go to kindergarten. at the big kid school.
the kid (looking a little skeptical): I don't know. I think I should be a turtle.
me: well, at kindergarten, you learn a LOT of stuff. you'll learn to count to 100 and-
the kid: I can already count to 100.
me: and you'll learn how to read. lots of words.
the kid: well, then. I need to go to kindergarten 'cause turtles can't read.

bedtime snacks

me: you have 10 minutes 'til bedtime. do you want a snack or something to drink?
the kid: no. I'm full and I'm not thirsty.
me: okay. but don't ask for something at bedtime. this is your last chance.
the kid: okay, mommy. I won't.

10 minutes later...
me: okay, buddy. bedtime. let's go get those teeth brushed.
the kid: mommy, can I have some goldfish and some juice?

I offered him water, and after some discussion, he decided he wasn't hungry or thirsty after all. booger.

that's silly!

after waking up from a nap in the kid's room, I walked into the living room...
the kid: mommy! where were you?
me: in bed
the kid: but I didn't see you.
me: that's because I had my invisible jammies on.
the kid: that's silly!
and that was the end of that. mommy now has a favorite hiding spot.  :-)

God can fix it

the "tree guys" are removing the tree in our back yard...

the kid: we're gonna miss that tree, right mommy?
me: yes, we will.
the kid: but God can fix it. He will fix it and keep it in kevin so we can see it when we get there.

to yell or not to yell...

the kid was trying to explain how to use the wii controller to his friend so she could play with him. she was totally confused but was willing to give it a shot...

me: now remember, she has never played this before. no getting upset with her or yelling at her, or I will turn the game off.
the kid: I won't yell at her. I only yell at daddy.

storms aren't scary

the kid: mommy, the storms don't scare me. 'cause God takes care of me and protects me. 'cause He loves me. right, mommy?

me: right.

the kid: yeah. God is awesome like that.

thanks for trying

the kid: wake up, mommy! the sun is up and it's eight one eight.
me: wake me up at eight three oh
the kid: it doesn't work that way, mommy. but thanks for trying.

mommy, mommy, mommy

the kid: mommy, you know what, mommy?
me: what?
the kid: um... mommy? uh...
me: yes?
the kid: mommy, I love you, mommy.
me: I love you, too. don't you ever get tired of saying "mommy" so much?
the kid: no, mommy. it's my favorite word.

we need to talk

the kid: mommy, do you want to hold me and we can talk about stuff?
me: oh yes. that would be awesome.
the kid climbed in my lap, facing me
me: so. what do we need to talk about?
the kid: you're not in trouble. I just. um. I love you.
me: I love you, too.
snuggle time

who's the boss?

the kid: mommy, God said you should stop being bossy.
me: what?
the kid: God sees you being bossy, and he doesn't like it when people are being bossy.
me: um, that's my job. I am the boss of you, you know.
the kid: maybe you should talk to God about that.

daddies are goofusheads

the kid: mommy, why is daddy a goofushead?

me: because he's a daddy.

the kid: but I'm not a goofushead.

me: you're not a daddy. one day, when you're a daddy, you'll be a goofushead.

the kid: ohhhh. that's cool.

when we're sad...

when we're sad, God helps us remember how to be happy. isn't that awesome?

Jesus is awesome like that

the kid: mommy, Jesus protects us so we can walk through any storm.

me: yes, he does.

the kid: so we don't be afraid, right?

me: right.

the kid: yeah, 'cause Jesus is awesome like that.

have I told you lately how much I love this kid?!

more milk?!

the kid: mommy, can I have some more milk, please?

me: more milk?! you're gonna turn into a cow!

the kid: no, silly. cows eat chocolate milk.

knocking...

after passing gas...

the kid: did you hear that knock?

plants and kevin

the kid: mommy, why are those plants in here?

me: daddy brought them in to keep them warm.

the kid: why?

me: because it's cold outside, and if they get too cold, they might die

the kid: and then they would have to go to kevin. God loves plants. but I don't want them to die. because when you go to kevin, you can't come back. and I would miss them.

do you like candy?

the kid: mommy, do you like candy?

me: yes, I do. do you like candy?

the kid: nope.

me: no? why not?

the kid: cause I growed up and I don't like it. I only liked it when I was three years old.

the kid: mommy, I have to tell you something.

me: what?

the kid: I love you soooooooo much.

me: I love you soooooo much, too.

the kid: and you're my favorite mommy in the whole world.

me: awwwww, thanks. you're my favorite kid in the whole world, too.

the hubby: what about me?

the kid: daddy, don't be silly. you're not a mommy or a kid.

waking daddy up

the kid: can I go wake daddy up?
me: only if you give him lots of kisses and tell him "happy birthday"
the kid: okay, I will....
(crawls in bed with his daddy)
the kid: I have to do this... (lots of kisses) happy birthday. now, get outta this bed, mister!

3 days?!?!

the kid: mommy, when do I get to go to church?

me: in 3 days.

the kid: 3 days?!?!

me: yep.

the kid: ok... is it 3 days yet?

they don't have wii in jail

about 30 miles from home on our return trip from vacation...

the kid: drive faster, daddy! I just want to be home NOOOWWW!

me: hey, look at that police car. that truck driver must be in trouble!

the kid: oh, the police officer is taking him to jail.

the hubby: I bet he was speeding. he was driving too fast because he just wanted to get home.

the kid: yeah, he was going fast fast fast -- DADDY! don't drive too fast or we'll have to go to jail. and they don't have wii in jail.

big kid vs. little kid

holding the kid's newest toy...

grandpa: I like this. can I have it?

the kid: no, it's for kids.

grandpa: I'm a kid. a big kid.

the kid: it's for little kids.

grandpa: and big kids.

the kid: grandpa, it's for little kids. and you're not a kid. you're a big. old. man.

it's not me!

I looked over at the kid after hearing him pass gas...
the kid: it's not me!

me: what do you mean it's not you? you're the only other person in the room, and I know it wasn't me.

the kid: oh, well then maybe it was the dog.

me: we don't have a dog.

the kid: would you believe the fishies did it?

happy pancake valentine

the kid: we got a big secret surprise for you, mommy!
me: what is it?
the kid: I can't tell you. it's a secret.
me: oh. well, then. I guess I'll go get dinner started, and then you can tell me when you're ready.
the kid: daddy!!!! I have to tell the surprise so mommy doesn't mess it up! mommy, we're going to take you to get PANCAKES for HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

talk to God

the kid: we can talk to God, mommy.
me: yes, we can.
the kid: go ahead, mommy. talk to God.
me: what should I talk to Him about?
the kid: anything is fine. He just likes it when we talk to Him.

the quiet game

the kid: mommy, do you know how to play the quiet game?
me: how?
the kid: be really really quiet. daddy, do you know how to play the quiet game?
the hubby: be really really quiet?
the kid: you be really really quiet while I talk to mommy.

aw rats!

me: oh poo.
the kid: mommy, that's not nice to say. try "aw rats!"
me: aw rats!
the kid: that's better. thank you for listening.

I'm busy

the kid: mommy, I'm busy playing with my ixl, and I don't want to get up. will you get my juice for me, please?
me (sitting right next to him): what? what if I don't want to get up either?
the kid (pouting): pleeeeeeeease? (bats eyelashes)
me (getting up to get his cup): grrrrr.
the kid: thank you. you're a good mommy, did you know that?

keep you forever

the kid: mommy, I just love love LOVE you.
me: I just love love LOVE you, too.
the kid: you're my favorite mommy and I want to keep you forever.
me: you're my favorite boy, and I want to keep you forever.
the kid: can we can keep daddy, too?
me: of course. we're a family. we stick together.
the kid: yay!

the kid is feeling very cruddy this morning. congestion, cough, and fever. he had such a pitiful look on his face as he said, "mommy, can you please stay home and snuggle with me? I promise not to breathe my sickies on your face."
followed with a pathetic little pout. 

yeah, I'm staying home.

that's okay, you're cute.

playing a challenging part of a game on the wii...
the kid: I need help.
the hubby: here, let me try.
the kid: no, daddy. you're not very good. maybe mommy can do it.
me: I'm not very good either.
the kid: that's okay, mommy. you're cute.

a girlfriend?

the kid: mommy, I don't want to go to preschool today.
me: but if you don't go, you won't see your friends.
the kid: that's okay. I just want to play at Miss Kym's house.
my sister: what about your girlfriend?
me: you have a girlfriend?
the kid: yeah. Kailey. she's cute.
me: if you don't go to preschool, you won't get to see Kailey.
the kid: well, I suppose I can go for a little bit.