not me!

after hearing the kid pass gas...

me: did you toot?

the kid: no. it must have been daddy.

me: daddy's not even here.

the kid: he did it from work. he must have turned my tooter on. sometimes he does that, you know.

me: yeah, riiiiight. and how did he do that?

the kid: with a toot-inator.

I'm pretty sure this means he's been watching too much  "Phineas and Ferb."