owies and heaven

sometimes the kid is very grown up...

the kid: mommy, did your mommy die?

me: yes, honey. she did. a long time ago.

the kid: well, when was it?

me: it was in 1997. almost 14 years ago.

the kid: can you tell me how it happened?

me: yes. she was in a car accident and got some really bad owies.

the kid: oh. what made her die?

me: she had a really bad owie on her head, and the doctors couldn't make it better.

the kid: oh. that's sad.

me: yes. I miss her very much.

the kid: but we shouldn't be sad, mommy. 'cause Jesus came and took her to heaven. and that's cool.

me: yes. yes, it is.

the kid: I love you, mommy.

me: I love you, too. very VERY much.

*snuggles*

momma's boy

me: you get to stay home and play with daddy while I go to the grocery store.

the kid: can I go, too? I really want to go.

me: um, no. but thanks for asking.

the kid: but I love you and I always want to be with you.

me: then ask daddy if he will go by himself and we can stay home.

the kid: okay. bye, daddy.

level 2

the kid is adjusting well to the structure of kindergarten. apparently, they measure voice volume in "levels"... level 2 is "conversational tone". level 3 is "classroom tone".

last night at dinner...

the kid: mommy, we're supposed to be at level 2. you are at level 3.

me: (lowering my volume to match his) oh, you're right. I'm sorry.

the kid: that's okay. just make sure you stay at level 2. that was your warning.

lunch for breakfast?

8am...
the kid: mommy, can we make some cookies?
me: we'll make them after lunch.
the kid: can we have lunch now?

family again

me: did you have a good day today?
the kid: yes, and I had a good time, too.
me: that's great. I'm glad you had a good time.
the kid: but I missed you because I wasn't with you.
me: I missed you, too.
the kid: but now I'm back and we're a family again.

that's ridiculous!

the kid: mommy, can we go to the game store and buy a new game?
me: maybe we can go Saturday, but you will have to spend your own money if you want to buy a new game.
the kid: but I want to go today!
me: we can look on the computer and see if we can find the game you want. it will take a few days to get it in the mail, but we won't have to go to the store. and you still have to spend your own money for it.
the kid: you can send money in the computer?
me: yep.
the kid: wow! that's ridiculous!

let me choose

last night at bedtime...

the kid: mommy, you didn't let me choose this morning, and you said I could choose.

me: choose what?

the kid: when you take me to school. you said I could choose a kiss, a hug, or a high five, and you didn't let me choose. you just said high five.

me: oh, you're right. I'm sorry.

the kid: I forgive you, mommy. just don't do it again.

glad I remembered to let him choose this morning... I got a hug, kiss, and a double-high-five.

don't look back

day 3 of kindergarten... I walked the kid halfway down the hall and said, "this is where I give you a high-five and watch you walk the rest of the way." with a big grin on his face, he gave me a high-five, turned, and walked the rest of the way without looking back. so proud my baby boy is growing up...

the kid said kindergarten was fun, but he didn't get to play long enough and one boy was not nice to him.
me: what did he do that wasn't nice?
the kid: I don't know.
me: then how do you know he wasn't nice?
the kid: he said something rude. and I don't listen when someone is rude. so I don't remember what he said.
me: I'm very proud of you.
the kid: yeah. me, too.

um, can you go now?

the kid's first day of kindergarten...

the kid: bye, mommy.

me: bye, sweetie. you have a good day, okay?

the kid: okay. bye, mommy.

me: I'll see you later. when I pick you up. 

the kid: okay. bye, mommy.

me: and -

the kid: mommy, can you just go already? I'll be okay.

me: of course, silly me. bye. see ya later.

the kid: bye, mommy. I love you.

(yes, I cried. a little.)

what's that smell?

the kid: it's still my birthday, right?
me: no. not really.

the kid: but I want it to still be my birthday.

me: (singing) ♪happy birthday to you. happy birthday to you. you look like a cute boy, and you smell like one, too.♪

the kid: what did you say I smell like?

me: a cute boy.

the kid: I'm a cute boy, but I don't smell like anything.

me: you don't smell like anything?
the kid: no. but my butt smells like poop. (giggle)

we need to talk

the kid: (very serious!) mommy, I need to talk to you.
me: okay. what do we need to talk about?
the kid: well, I need you to be really quiet while I'm playing my WALL-E Wii game. do you think you can do that for me?
me: um, yeah. I'm pretty sure I can.
the kid: thanks, mommy. I know you can do it. and I'll help you to remember, okay?
me: um, yeah. thanks.
the kid: you're welcome, mommy. I love you.

what's a leg?

the kid: what's a leg?
me: what? you know what a leg is.
the kid: no, I'm not kidding.
me: you're not?
the kid: no. I'm really not. I really forgot. (pause) HA! I'm tricking you. this is my leg. (patting his leg)
me: you rascal!
the kid: I'm funny, aren't I?

say your manners, please.

the hubby burped and didn't say "excuse me"...

the kid: daddy, say your manners, please.

the hubby: what?

the kid: daddy, you burped and you didn't say "excuse me". that's rude. you need to say your manners. mommy! daddy burped and didn't say his manners.

the hubby: oh, sorry.

the kid: daddy! you still didn't say your manners. say "excuse me".

the hubby: oh, sorry. excuse me.

the kid: that's better. thank you for saying your manners.

stars sparkle

while helping to make the cupcakes for his party...
the kid: I'll do the sparkles.
me: you mean sprinkles.
the kid: they're stars, mommy. stars sparkle. so they're sparkles.
me: oh, sorry.
the kid: that's okay, mommy. you didn't know. but now you do.

still my birthday

the first thing the kid said this morning was "hey, mommy! today's my birthday party."
me: yes, it is.
the kid: so it's still my birthday, right?
me: yes, I guess you could say that.
the kid: I did say that.

happy birthday

the kid: mommy, today is my birthday! (said with absolute glee)

me: yes, it is. you're five now.

the kid: I'm not five yet.

me: you're not? but it's your birthday.

the kid: I know that. but I won't be five until my people come over.

me: you mean for your birthday party?

the kid: yep. I have to blow out the candle with the 5 on it.

singing praises

love hearing the kid sing one of the songs he learned at VBS... 

♪ God is watching, watching over you. 24/7, watching over you. your life is in his hands, woa woah. He's got great big plans 'cause he's watching over you. ♪

it's your choice

the kid: mommy, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
me: I don't know. what are you thinking?
the kid: I'm thinking we could snuggle up in your bed and watch Netflix together.
me: that's a great idea. what should we watch?
the kid: your choice is Spectacular Spiderman or Spiderman 67 Collection.
me: it's up to you. which one do you want to watch?
the kid: no mommy, it's your choice.
me: okay, Spectacular Spiderman.
the kid: wrong choice, mommy. you want to watch the 67 collection. right, mommy? (nodding)
me: of course. I'm glad it was my choice.
the kid: yeah. me, too.

hot vs hob

the kid and the hubby were talking about Spiderman and some of his foes...
the kid: and there's green goblin and hot goblin.
the hubby: you mean hobgoblin.
the kid: say it with me. hot
the hubby: hot
the kid: gob
the hubby: gob
the kid: lin
the hubby: lin
the kid: hot goblin
the hubby: hot goblin.
the kid: good. now you know.

not me!

after hearing the kid pass gas...

me: did you toot?

the kid: no. it must have been daddy.

me: daddy's not even here.

the kid: he did it from work. he must have turned my tooter on. sometimes he does that, you know.

me: yeah, riiiiight. and how did he do that?

the kid: with a toot-inator.

I'm pretty sure this means he's been watching too much  "Phineas and Ferb."

all about love

the kid: mommy, I love you.

me: I love you, too.

the kid: and I love you forever.

me: and I love you forever.

the kid: and I love you more than chicken and fries.

me: wow! that's a lotta love.

the kid: yeah. a lotta lotta love.

I think I'll keep him.

God made me fast.

the kid: mommy, can you get me a cheese stick and some red juice? please?
me: how 'bout you get the cheese stick and I get the red juice?
the kid: I bet I can get the cheese stick before you get the -
me: I bet you can't. (as we both run into the kitchen)
the kid: HA! I win!
me: you always win.
the kid: yeah. 'cause God made me fast. and he made you slow. I'm fast and you're slow. got it?

I want that...

the kid: I want that.
me: it's on the list.
the kid: and I want that.
me: on the list.
the kid: oooo, I want that, too.
me: you want everything, don't you?
the kid: no. not everything.
me: just everything you see?
the kid: no. I just want everything that looks cool.