rest time vs road trip

the kid: mommy, I don't want to do rest time. I'm not tired.
me: okay. how 'bout we go for a drive instead?
the kid: okay. let's go.
 
he went from non-stop chatter to drooling in less than 15 minutes. <insert evil laugh here>

surprise!

it's daddy's surprise day. when he gets here, we'll hide and he won't know we're here. and then we'll jump out and say "surprise!"

cutie patootie

mommy, me and daddy are doofus heads. but you're not a doofus head. you're a cutie patootie. and I love you forever.

just like preschool...

the kid is all registered for kingergarten. we were able to see a few classes moving through the halls in their lines, and the kid whispered to me, "that's like at preschool. except some of them aren't very good at being quiet." 

 so yeah, my baby is all set for "big kid" school. *sigh*

"oh" vs. "zero"

the kid: mommy, time to wake up.
me: what time is it?
the kid: it's seven four five.
me: tell me when it's eight oh oh.
the kid: you mean eight zero zero. oh is a letter. zero is a number.

the bug

the kid: daddy, there's a bug under the table.
the hubby: so go get it.
the kid: no, daddy. you do the yucky stuff.
the hubby: oh, all right. one of these days you'll be a daddy and then you'll have to do the yucky stuff. (looks under the table) that's not a bug. it's blue play-doh.
the kid: oopsy! how'd that get there? I'll get it. just pretend you didn't see anything. and don't tell mommy, okay?

turtle vs kindergarten

the kid: when do I go to the turtle class (at preschool)?
me: the turtle class is for little kids. after this year you get to go to kindergarten. at the big kid school.
the kid (looking a little skeptical): I don't know. I think I should be a turtle.
me: well, at kindergarten, you learn a LOT of stuff. you'll learn to count to 100 and-
the kid: I can already count to 100.
me: and you'll learn how to read. lots of words.
the kid: well, then. I need to go to kindergarten 'cause turtles can't read.

bedtime snacks

me: you have 10 minutes 'til bedtime. do you want a snack or something to drink?
the kid: no. I'm full and I'm not thirsty.
me: okay. but don't ask for something at bedtime. this is your last chance.
the kid: okay, mommy. I won't.

10 minutes later...
me: okay, buddy. bedtime. let's go get those teeth brushed.
the kid: mommy, can I have some goldfish and some juice?

I offered him water, and after some discussion, he decided he wasn't hungry or thirsty after all. booger.

that's silly!

after waking up from a nap in the kid's room, I walked into the living room...
the kid: mommy! where were you?
me: in bed
the kid: but I didn't see you.
me: that's because I had my invisible jammies on.
the kid: that's silly!
and that was the end of that. mommy now has a favorite hiding spot.  :-)

God can fix it

the "tree guys" are removing the tree in our back yard...

the kid: we're gonna miss that tree, right mommy?
me: yes, we will.
the kid: but God can fix it. He will fix it and keep it in kevin so we can see it when we get there.

to yell or not to yell...

the kid was trying to explain how to use the wii controller to his friend so she could play with him. she was totally confused but was willing to give it a shot...

me: now remember, she has never played this before. no getting upset with her or yelling at her, or I will turn the game off.
the kid: I won't yell at her. I only yell at daddy.

storms aren't scary

the kid: mommy, the storms don't scare me. 'cause God takes care of me and protects me. 'cause He loves me. right, mommy?

me: right.

the kid: yeah. God is awesome like that.

thanks for trying

the kid: wake up, mommy! the sun is up and it's eight one eight.
me: wake me up at eight three oh
the kid: it doesn't work that way, mommy. but thanks for trying.