someone to hold

the kid: mommy, do you need to hold someone?

me: um, I don't know. what do you think?

the kid: I think you need to hold a cute little kid.

me: oh?

the kid: yeah. and I'm a cute little kid, so you're in luck.

me: yes, I'm very lucky. come here, cute little kid. let me hold you.
the kid: I thought you'd never ask.

we're supposed to share

I finally got a turn to play the Wii all by myself, and minutes later the kid tries to sneak the controller away from me.

me: excuse me? I'm playing a game by myself. you need to wait your turn.
the kid: but mommy, it's all of ours, and we're supposed to share. right?
the hubby: he's got you there, sweetie.
me: fine. here. you can play. I'll just watch. (sigh)
the kid: thank you, mommy. when I get to the hard parts, you can play and then give it back to me when I want to play again, okay? I love you.

just what I wanted!

I just love that the kid's response to EVERY gift he opened was an excited "that's just what I wanted!" -- even the clothes.

makes a mommy proud!

snow vs rain

the kid: when is it going to snow? it's supposed to snow on Christmas Eve.

me: it's too warm outside for snow, so we probably wouldn't see any today. 

then, when it started raining...

the kid: mommy! look! it's Christmas Eve snow! it melted and turned into rain!

the only rule

mommy, you need to do what I say, okay? that's my only rule.

power of persuasion

upon seeing a commercial for some kind of shoot'em up video game...
the kid: I want that!
me: that's for grownups only.
the kid: do you want that?
me: noooooo.
the kid (nodding his head): daddy, do you want that?
the hubby: ummmm...
the kid (nodding more vigorously): yeeeeeees.

abomination

showing a picture he just drew to his daddy...
the kid: it's a rocket and it 'sploded up from the bominations.
the hubby: you mean a bomb?
the kid: no, daddy. say it with me. uh-bom-ih-nay-shun. abomination. it 'splodes things up.

surprise!

the kid: bye, mommy. have a great day. and remember to bring me a surprise.
me: you don't need a surprise.
the kid: yes. I need two. I need two surprises.
me: one.
the kid: okay, it's a deal. one surprise. and make sure it's a good one.

I didn't even see it coming.

I know everything.

the kid: I know everything.
the hubby: oh yeah? then what's two plus two?
the kid: four.
the hubby (to me): how does he know that?
the kid: 'cause I know everything.
yeah, we're doomed.

kevinly peace

♪ silent night. holy night. sleep in kevinly peace. sleep in kevinly peace. ♪

I wasn't talking to you.

the kid: mommy, can I talk to daddy?
me: yes. go ahead. he's right there.

the kid: daddy, can you come play my game with me?

the hubby: not right now.

the kid: but mommy said "yes".

the hubby: that's not what she said "yes" to.
the kid: daddy! you weren't supposed to be listening. you should only listen when I'm talking to you!

pancakes vs donuts

the kid: mommy, can we have pancakes tomorrow?
me: what about donuts?
the kid: the donut place is gonna be closed. so we need to have pancakes.

butt cleaner

daddy, mommy's a good butt cleaner. but you don't do it right. next time I need help wiping my butt, you should watch mommy so you can learn how to be a good butt cleaner.

that's rude!

the kid: mommy, daddy called me grumpy pants.

the hubby: I did not. I said "smarty pants".

the kid: you shouldn't say that, daddy. it's rude.

the hubby: sorry. I didn't realize it would hurt your feelings.

the kid: it didn't hurt my feelings. it made me mad. and that's rude.

the hubby: I'm sorry. I'll be nice.

the kid: good. 'cause I'd hate to see you get on the naughty list.

where's Kevin?

the kid: mommy, what is Kevin like?

me: Kevin who?
the kid: Kevin isn't a who. it's a where. 
me: what?
the kid: you know. Kevin. where God lives.
me: oh! you mean heaven.
the kid: yeah, Kevin. what does it look like?

forever...

"mommy... I love you and I want to keep you forever!"

Yeah, my heart melted!

a father or a daddy?

me: be nice to your father.

the kid: he's not a father. he doesn't have a mustache.

me: "father" is just another word for "daddy". it's the same.

the kid: no. they're not the same. they're different.

me: what's the difference between a father and a daddy? 

the kid: a father has a mustache. and... um... and that's all I know.

naughty or nice?

the kid: mommy, you better be careful. you're almost on the naughty list.

me: why?

the kid: you said something I don't like, and that's naughty.

me: that doesn't make me naughty. it's my job to tell what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. 

the kid: hmph. we'll see about that.

a little help, please

the kid: mommy, I need your help in the kitchen, please.

me: what do you need help with?

the kid: I need you to help me reach something.

me: what are you trying to reach?

the kid: I can't tell you 'cause you might say "no".

me: if you don't tell me, I can't help you. 

the kid: oh... mommy, I think you need a Christmas cookie. and while you're getting it, can you get me one too, please?

Daddy made me cry

"daddy made me cry two times today. one time he scared me, and the other time I just felt like crying. but he said he's sorry, and I forgave him. so we're still friends."

puppies vs. fish

the kid: mommy, we need a puppy.

me: we have fish.

the kid: it's not the same. we need a puppy.

me: you can visit Scooby (my sister's dog).

the kid: but I want a puppy at MY house. 

me: did you know that puppies pee and poop on the floor? and you would have to clean up after it. 

the kid: um... nevermind. I like fish.

Cockadoodledoo!

4am: the hubby wakes me to tell me he "accidentally" woke the kid when kissing his cheek before leaving for work, and then the kid crawls into bed with me.

bye, daddy. have a good day. I love you.

he blows kisses to his daddy, snuggles into me, sighs, and then goes to sleep. 

8am: mommy! wake up! the sun is up! COCKADOODLEDOO!"

Guess what?!

my 12 year old nephew has a habit of teaching the kid such lovely little things...

the kid: hey momma!

me: yes?

the kid: guess what.

me: what? 
the kid: chicken butt! (giggles and laughter)
me: how 'bout you say coconut instead? 

the kid: no, thanks. chicken butt is funnier.

I'm not sleepy...

the kid: momma, I'm really really tired.

me: then close your eyes and go to sleep.

the kid: no, I'm not sleepy. just tired.

me: oh. then just sit here next to me and... 

the kid: zzzzzzzzzz

giving from the heart

so proud of the kid... 

I told him yesterday that there are kids who don't have any toys to play with and he has so many... he replied "that makes me so sad. can I give some of my toys that I don't play with to those kids?" 

we then went through about half of his toys, and he put over 1/3 in the "give away" bag.

I want that!

the kid is at that lovely age where every toy commercial elicits an "I want THAT." fortunately, he is satisfied with "we'll add it to your list" as a response... for now.

I love momma

the kid: momma?

me: what-a?

the kid: I love you.

me: I love you, too.

the kid: daddy? 

the hubby: yes? 

the kid: I love momma and she loves me. isn't that awesome?

awesome like that

me: how'd you get so smart? 
the kid: 'cause I'm awesome like that.

I love you, momma

the kid: I love you, momma.

me: I love you, too. 

the kid: I'm glad you're my momma. 

me: I'm glad you're my son.
the kid: you're a great momma. you take good care of me. and you give me good snuggles. and you help me with stuff. and - and - and I just love you. 

Yeah, my eyes leaked. ♥

somebody else

the kid: I need someone to get me a snack.

me: good luck with that.

the kid: mommy, you're someone.

me: nope. I'm someone else.

the kid: oh. I need someone else to get me a snack.

me: you didn't ask nicely.

the kid: puh-leeeeeeeez!

me: ugh! 

the kid: thanks, someone else.

Mommy, I need you

The kid woke up from his nap and said, "Mommy, I need you. I need some snuggles." and then let out a big contented sigh as I snuggled up next to him.

Yeah, my heart melted. ♥

who's your daddy?

the kid: he's not your daddy. he's my pa.

me: he's my daddy and your pa. 

the kid: don't be silly!

awesome like that

me: thank you for sharing. that was very sweet of you.
the kid: yeah, I'm awesome like that.

football superheroes

the kid is watching football with his daddy and is beyond excited... apparently it's Green Goblins (Green Bay) vs Black Spidermans (Chicago), and they're having quite the battle.

great guy

the kid to his daddy: Allen, you're a great guy.
and then to me: mommy, you're a great guy, too.

and the bug's name is...

the kid, feeling sorry for the bug in Wall-E because it has no name, has decided to share his name with the bug. so, for all of you who were wondering, the bug's name is Matthew.

true love

Now I KNOW the kid loves me... he gave me a bite of his chicken nugget.

owie!

the kid, pointing to a very small (almost healed) scratch on my arm: mommy, you need a baindaid.
me: no, it's okay.
the kid: but it hurts really really bad and you need a bandaid to make it feel better. 
me: oh. I didn't know it hurts.
the kid: you're lucky to have me so I could tell you... daddy, please get mommy a spiderman bandaid for her owie.

trumped again

I find it amusing that my declaration of "when Daddy gets home, you're all his. I get the night off" was answered with the kid falling asleep in the car on the way home and sleeping through the night.

making my head spin

mommy, this show is making my head spin. can I play my Spiderman game? it won't make my head spin, and then I can stop whining. please?

rest time

mommy, I had a bad dream about resting. so maybe I shouldn't have rest time today.

sickies and yuckies

I am never more certain that I have turned into my mother than when my child is sick.

the kid: mommy, I don't want to go night night. it will make my sickies have more yuckies. can you just hold me and we can watch Spiderman? please? (pout, bat eyelashes)

c'mon, I'll tuck you in

the hubby to the kid: after mommy goes night night, we'll play your game.
the kid: mommy, it's time for you to go to bed. you're really tired. 
me: I'm not ready to go to bed yet, but thanks for asking.
the kid: trust me, Mommy. I know what's best for you. c'mon. I'll tuck you in.

smartie pants

the hubby: okay, smartie pants. I'm glad you figured it out.
the kid: daddy, don't call me pants. that's a bad word.

well, except when I bonked my head

me: did you like your party?
the kid: yeah. it was AMAZING! 
me: what was your favorite part?
the kid: I liked all of it. well, except when I bonked my head. but all of the rest of it.

I'n not 4 yet

the kid: I'm not 4 yet. not until I blow out my candle.
me: oh. silly me. should we light the candle NOW?
the kid: no. that's for my party. it's not my birthday until my party.
me: oh. then I guess daddy and I will wait until your party to give you your presents.
the kid: we can have a little party today so you can give me presents, and then I'll have my birthday party when everyone else comes, and I can be 4 then.

all of some...

me: who do you want to come to your birthday party?
the kid: all of some people and some of somebody else.

happy and snuggly

mommy, I want to sit by you and snuggle. I like snuggling with you. it makes me feel happy and snuggly. (giggle) mommy, snuggle is a funny word. day it with me... ssnnnnuuuuuugglllllllll. (giggle)

bedtime prayer

dear God. thank you for this day. blah blah blah. I love you. amen. ♥

mushrooms and marshmallows

the kid: mommy, can I have a mushroom?
 me: YOU want a mushroom? we don't have any.
the kid: yes, we do. right there. (points to the marshmallows.)  
me: that's a marsh mell oh.
the kid: that's what I said. mush room. 
me: (giggling) knock yourself out, kid.
so then he licked one, said "mmmmm. sweet" and put it back in the bag.

I'll protect you

while snuggling with the kid last night, he put his hand on my cheek and said, "I'll keep you safe. don't be scared. I'll protect you."

yeah, ♥

I love you, sunshine!

woke up to the kid gently kissing my face and saying, "mommy! it's wake up time. I love you, sunshine!"

dish up the grub

the kid: I'm hungry, but I'm not ready to eat yet.
me: you can't play your playstation until after dinner.
the kid. okay, now I'm ready. dish up the grub, mommy. please.

BE the game

who needs an expensive gaming system? the kid plays along as he watches his favorite DVDs. he just defeated Zurg in "Toy Story 2". again.

my little encourager

the kid and I both got our hair cut today, and he went first. when it was my turn, he sat in the chair at the next station and offered up praise and encouragement.

you're doing a great job, mommy... you're almost done. you must be proud of yourself for doing such a great job... I'm proud of you.

stop looking at me!

the kid: daddy, stop looking at me.
the hubby: but you're so cute.
the kid: I know. but stop looking at me.

happy father's day!

daddy, I love you, but don't be a boogerhead.

bedtime prayer

dear God, thank You for this day. thank You for our blessings. please give grandma and grandpa a safe trip. please watch over them and make them come back to see me again. I love You. amen.

yes, but...

grandpaw: are you going to be good?
the kid: yes, but I won't like it.

best friend ever

mommy, you're my best friend ever! can I keep you?

bedtime prayer

dear God, thank You for this day. thank You for our blessings. one two three, four five six. amen.

really cool

the kid held my cheeks in his hands, looked me in the eye, and said, "you are really cool, mommy. I love you to pieces."

*sigh* ♥

time out

me: mommy needs a time out
the kid: but mommy, I don't want you to be in time out because I love you and I don't want you to be in time out because you're my friend. please don't be in time out.

love you, sweet girl

I wasn't feeling well last night and was laying on the couch...
 poor mommy. I’ll take care of you.
he gently patted my cheek, kissed my forehead, and gave me that big goofy grin
 I love you sweet girl.

Yeah, he’s a keeper!

want vs need

the kid was looking through the Fisher Price catalog that came in the mail today...
the kid: oooooh mommy. I need this!
me: do you need it, or do you want it?
the kid: I want it. I really really want it.... oh, I want this, too. and this. oooo mommy! I need -- want this!

when was the wedding?

leaving church tonight, one of the little girls the kid had been playing with wanted to come home with us.

me: no bringing girls home for sleepovers unless you're married to them.
the kid: but mommy. I am married to her!
me: ummmmm.... let's go find the car.

manners police

the kid: mommy, when you burp, you need to say excuse me. that's good manners. if you don't say excuse me, that's rude.
me: I didn't burp.
the kid: I know that. I'm just telling you.

double play

leaving IHOP, after dinner...
me: come on, let's go.
the kid: not yet. I'm not ready.
me: oh, okay then. call us when you're ready. (pushing the door open)
the kid: but I don't have a phone.
me: then I guess you need to come with us.
the kid: silly mommy!

in the car, on the way home from dinner.
the kid: mommy, I don't feel good.
me: oh, I'm sad when you don't feel good. what would it take to make you feel better?
the kid: if you hug me, I will feel better.
me: okay. when we get home, I'll be sure to give you a big squishy hug.
the kid: that's a great idea. daddy, drive faster but don't get a ticket!

mr. manners

the kid got his hair cut, and I got a shampoo and trim, and the hubby was along for the ride. I was first up, and the kid was in progress when I was done...
the kid: are you done?
me: yes, I am.
the kid: did you say thank you?
me: yes, I did.
the kid: thank you for using your manners, mommy.

but remember...

the kid: mommy, I'm really hungry
me: you still have some soup (rice) and chicken 
the kid: (with a pathetic look on his face) but remember, I really need cookies.

it's so cute!

upon opening the box for his replacement controller for the PS2 (it's green), the kid exclaimed "it's so CUTE! I LOVE it! Thank you SO much!" Of course, he had to go try it out and verify that it really works.

amazing grace

dear God, please watch over mommy and daddy and me. and keep us safe. and thank you for our food, 'specially chicken and fries. and peanut butter. amen.

don't be scared

the hubby and the kid decided to go out for a walk. before they left, the kid says to me "mommy, don't be scared. you'll be okay. we will be right back." ♥

actions speak louder

the kid climbed up next to me on the couch, laid his head on my arm, sighed, and then started snoring. ♥

what happened to "please"?

the kid: mommy, daddy's patting my head.
me: if you want him to stop, ask him to stop.
the kid: daddy, mommy said stop.
hubby: what happened to "please"?
the kid: mommy didn't say please. and if you don't listen to her, you'll be in TIME OUT!!! so BEHAVE!

night-night daddy-o.

the kid just tucked his daddy in bed...
dear God, please watch over daddy and keep him safe. and give him sweet dreams. amen. daddy, don't be scared. God will help you have a great sleep. night-night daddy-o.

the kid: mommy, I need to go to the doctor. my tummy feels yucky and my throat hurts.
me: the doctor is closed. I'll take you to the doctor tomorrow if you still feel yucky.
I gave him a dose of Zyrtec and rubbed some Vick's on his chest/back/feet. 10 minutes later...
the kid: mommy! I feel all better! the yuckies are gone, so the doctor can be closed FOREVER!

it's all good

me: did you have a good day today?
the kid: yes.
me: what was your favorite part?
the kid: all of it.

don't make me angry...

the hubby was teasing the kid... the kid pointed at his daddy and firmly said, "daddy, cut it out. I'm about to get mad at you." HA!

climbing vs walking

me: do not climb up on the table.
the kid: but mommy, I have to get up on the table so I can reach the other side of it.
me: um... no, just walk around to the other side.
the kid: but I like climbing better.
me: but climbing on the table will get you in big trouble.
the kid: oh. well. walking isn't so bad then.

habla espanol?

the kid got ahold of the remote for the dvd player and changed the language setting to spanish...
Look mommy! I made it speak spanish. I like it better in spanish.

order up!

the kid insisted on calling me when I was on my way home from work... 

hi mommy. I love you. can you bring me chicken and fries, please?

fair and square

me: I caught you fair and square

the kid: no. you got me fair and rectangle.

team sports

the kid is playing imaginary dodgeball. he's running side to side as some imaginary "guy" throws imaginary balls at him - complete with sound effects as the balls "wshhh" by. he apparently just got hit and fell to the floor, dusted himself off, said "I'm okay", and got back up for another round.

a great day!

I woke up to see the kid's smiling face followed by him saying "today's gonna be a GREAT day!" and then a great big hug and kiss. What a way to start the weekend, eh?

sharing

Mommy, let's practice sharing.

and then he took my last cookie.

I'll tuck you in

the kid just told the hubby, "daddy, it's time for you to go night-night. c'mon. I'll tuck you in." funny thing is, he was right... hubby has to be up at 4am.

that's art

the hubby: you're doing a great job coloring.

the kid (with a sympathetic look): that's not coloring. that's art.

best friend EVER

The kid blessed my socks off last night. As he crawled into bed, he said the sweetest prayer. Then he gently placed his hand on my cheek and had the biggest sappiest grin on his face as he said, "I love you mommy. You're my best friend EVER!"

mommy said it's okay

the kid was looking through the Fisher Price catalog that came in today's mail and said, "I want THIS" as he was tapping his finger on one of the pages. I told him "we'll see." so he takes the catalog over to the hubby and says, "mommy said yes. mommy said it's okay to buy this. see? this one. not that one."

time to wake daddy?

me: in a few minutes, you get to go wake daddy up.

the kid: no. he didn't get much sleep, so I'm gonna leave him in there.

I have a question.

the kid (with a very serious look on his face): mommy, I have a question. it's not a story because stories start with "once upon a time". so, here's the question. listen very carefully, okay? okay? mommy, stop laughing and listen to me. this is serious. the question is... um... let me think about it, and I'll ask you later.

silly mommy!

the kid: mommy, I love you.

me: I love you, too.

the kid: mommy, I like you.

me: I like you, too. 

the kid: and mommy. you're my best friend ever!

me: thank you, sweetie.

the kid: MOMMY! you're s'posed to tell me I'm your best friend ever, too!

me: you are my best friend ever.

the kid: silly mommy! that's why I love you, 'cause you're silly!

daddy will do it

the kid: mommy, if you see a bug, squish it.
me: I don't do bugs.
the kid: oh... mommy, if you see a bug, get daddy. and he'll squish it.

rub it in

I love that the kid MUST rub in EVERY kiss.
but mommy! the kiss doesn't count if I don't rub it in!

if you see a bug...

me: bye. be good for daddy. see you when I get home.
the kid: bye, mommy. be careful. I love you.
me: I love you too, bubby.
the kid: and mommy?

me: yes?
he places his hand on my face, looks intently into my eyes and says very seriously:

Mommy, if you see a bug, get outta there!

Gotta love this kid!