dear God...

tonight was the kid's turn to say the prayer at dinner...

"dear God, thank you for this day. thank you for our food. and please give us some rain. and please make it not be a hundred hot outside. in Jesus' name. amen."

the bad guy

mommy, the devil is the bad guy 'cause he tries to keep us from God and tries to get us to do bad things. but we can ask God to help us 'cause he can always defeat the devil.

who's to blame?

me: you sure like getting into my stuff, don't you?
the kid: how'd you know it was me?
me: I'm sitting here watching you.
the kid: oh. I guess I can't blame it on daddy then, huh?
me: no, I'm pretty sure you can't.
the kid: um, I love you?

the list

the kid: mommy, can we please print my list now?
me: sure. you've waited long enough. let's go.
the kid: yay! (after pulling it off the printer) and now can you tell everyone it's ready?
me: yeah, I'll get right on that.
the kid: good. 'cause I know people want to get me stuff I like.

gimme a break

me (to hubby): Kym broke her foot.

the kid: what?! Miss Kym's foot is broked?

me: yes, her foot is broken.
the kid: is it cut in half?
me: no. it's broken on the inside. one of her bones has a crack in it.

the kid: so it went (makes cracking noise)?

me: yep.
the kid: wow. that gotted ta hurt!

who? me??

the kid: mommy, can you get me some red juice, please?

me: there's some on the table?

the kid: where? 

me: your cup is next to your plate. the one you snagged the cheese stick from.

the kid: you didn't see me.

me: I didn't have to see you. it's gone, and your breath smells like cheese.

the kid: well, I didn't snag it. I just ate it with my mouth.

what nap?

the kid: mommy, can I have a later bedtime today?
me: um, no. but thanks for asking.
the kid: but I took a nap!
me: you did not take a nap today.
the kid: yes, I did.
me: oh really? when?
the kid: right before I waked up this morning.
me: nice try, but that doesn't count as a nap. that's the end of last night's sleep.
the kid: oh. um. I love you?

what's in a name?

the kid: mommy, what is the name of that church again?

me: Hillcrest.

the kid: yeah, I want to go to Hillcrest today.

me: that sounds like a great idea.

later...

me: I better get moving. we have to leave in a little bit to go to church.

the kid: yeah! we're going to Hillcrumbs!

hold me!

the kid: mommy, do you need someone to hold you?

me: do you mean do I want someone to hold?

the kid: no. do you want ME to hold YOU?

me: but if you hold me, I would squish you.

the kid: well, you hold me, and then I hold you while you're holding me. so we're holding each other. 'cause that's what we do.

me: awwww... yes, please hold me.

the kid: I thought you'd never ask.

show me the money

one of these days I will remember to put cash in my purse immediately after taking it out of my pocket...
the kid: look, mommy! I have lots of dollars!
me: those are my dollars that need to go back in my purse.
the kid: we don't need to do that. we can take them to the store and buy another controller for the wii.
me: if we do that, we might not have enough money to buy chicken and fries the next time you want them.
the kid: that's okay. I'm strong enough for no chicken and fries.
me: no chicken and fries? ever?!
the kid: (shocked look) well, maybe we can put these dollars in my piggy bank instead.
me: maybe you can put one of them in your bank and the rest can go back into my purse.
the kid: okay. can I keep this one? (holds up a twenty)
me: (snatching the twenty) no, but you can have this one. (handing him a one)
the kid: I like the other one better.

how long?!

the kid: mommy, I'm big. I'm really really big.
me: yes, you're really really big.
the kid: so I can go to kindergarten.
me: yep.
the kid: so when do I go to kindergarten?
me: after your birthday.
the kid: what?! that's a long time. I don't want to wait a long time! (pout)
me: you have to be 5 to go to kindergarten.
the kid: you didn't tell me that part, mommy. you should have told me that part.